I’m kind of lost with where to go name wise atm, I’ve been trying to pick someone for multiple years at this point but whenever I do I’ll go by it for a couple weeks/months and it will never really “click”. I’ve found a ton of names that I like, but none of them feel like “me” if that makes sense. I’ve heard people say that that sort of falling into place feeling doesn’t just magically happen with the right name and instead you’ve just got to keep going with the same one for it to feel like you but I’ve gone but some names for almost a year and it still never felt like me.
I wish my parents could have some sort of input or help me chose considering they picked out my legal name but I’m not even out to my dad yet and my mom is not supportive. She’s been getting better about it but still me being trans is something she doesn’t want to talk about any more than she has to and so she has no interest in helping me find a new name or for picking between options.
I’m really worried that I’ll end up picking something “silly” or something that doesn’t fit my vibes at all. I guess I can always change it later again if it does end up being bad for some reason but idk I really just want this matter to be settled and done with, I don’t want to have to be thinking about name options 5 years from now.
I picked out a new name once again back in the month of May and have been going by since, I mostly liked it until I randomly encountered a different name and thought “oo maybe I can go by that instead?”. But now I’m in between those two names and neither feel right. The first one I was really starting to warm up to but that’s all gone now and it feels awkward once again.
This post doesn’t really have a point and I don’t think it’s going to solve my problem, but it was cathartic to type it all out and maybe someone here will see this and go “oh mood”
You must log in or register to comment.
Have you tried TransTryouts? Kinda like a public service for testing names in different contexts and situations.
I have not heard of that before, thank you for the link
Although I know some people on discord who use my preferred name even if I change it a whole bunch it’s still good to know
My first name came from an indie game. In Sundered, an Eldritch metroidvania, the protagonist’s name is Eshe. I liked it. Funny part is, I did some googling after the fact. Eshe has Swahili origins, meaning life. Lynn has French origins, meaning “living near a river, waterfall, or stream,” or something. Or, as I’m choosing to mean, “wellspring of life.”
No point to my story, either. Just letting you know, you can pick your name for any reason you want. Live your life. Kinda the whole point of coming out as trans, ya? Being yourself?
Hell yeah, that’s a cool name!
And that’s fair, idk I always seek input from other for everything I do which probably isn’t a good thing
I’m sorry if this comes off as vapid, hell feel free to tell me to go fuck myself if you want, but doubting your decision on a name will always lead to disappointment. Pick a name that you like for any reason you like, and afterwards don’t keep shopping around for names, be proud of the one you have, it’s as valid as you are.
I think that’s good advice, but idk I end up doubting and second guessing everything I do
I should probably just pick something and stick to it no matter what. I’m already on like name 5 or 6 at this point lmao
Anxiety do be a bitch like that, but in the end it’s just intrusive thoughts. You’re gonna have to disregard them, and have confidence that the choice you’re making is a correct one. Also I understand that’s a lot easier said than done, but from my own experience it’s really the best advice I got, and I can say anxiety’s done a lot more harm than good in my own life. Maybe it don’t mean shit coming from a stranger, but I believe you can do it.
I went through a couple names that didn’t really feel like they fit. Eventually I landed on one that fit my criteria and just stuck with it. It still felt weird. I felt like a kid demanding to be called “sonic the hedgehog” again.
But after a few weeks it wasn’t so bad. After a few months it felt mostly natural. Two years later Its kind of surreal to think I used to go by anything else.
I don’t know how long you’ve stuck with a name, but if you haven’t already maybe give it a few months to see if a name feels better with some use.
In my experience, names are all kinda arbitrary and a brand new one is never going to click immediately. Just pick one you like and try it out for a few months, and your brain will naturally learn to recognize it as you.
I tried out a few names that never really felt right as well. Then I just gave in and changed one letter of my dead name so it was a girls name and owned it. Pretty much every bully used it anyway growing up so it kind of just fell into place. Still feels like I’m pretending sometimes but the imposter syndrome happens less and less.