I’m kind of lost with where to go name wise atm, I’ve been trying to pick someone for multiple years at this point but whenever I do I’ll go by it for a couple weeks/months and it will never really “click”. I’ve found a ton of names that I like, but none of them feel like “me” if that makes sense. I’ve heard people say that that sort of falling into place feeling doesn’t just magically happen with the right name and instead you’ve just got to keep going with the same one for it to feel like you but I’ve gone but some names for almost a year and it still never felt like me.

I wish my parents could have some sort of input or help me chose considering they picked out my legal name but I’m not even out to my dad yet and my mom is not supportive. She’s been getting better about it but still me being trans is something she doesn’t want to talk about any more than she has to and so she has no interest in helping me find a new name or for picking between options.

I’m really worried that I’ll end up picking something “silly” or something that doesn’t fit my vibes at all. I guess I can always change it later again if it does end up being bad for some reason but idk I really just want this matter to be settled and done with, I don’t want to have to be thinking about name options 5 years from now.

I picked out a new name once again back in the month of May and have been going by since, I mostly liked it until I randomly encountered a different name and thought “oo maybe I can go by that instead?”. But now I’m in between those two names and neither feel right. The first one I was really starting to warm up to but that’s all gone now and it feels awkward once again.

This post doesn’t really have a point and I don’t think it’s going to solve my problem, but it was cathartic to type it all out and maybe someone here will see this and go “oh mood”