I also don’t recall the president denouncing Hamas very much during his address to the nation about the coup. Literally Hitler.

Sorry. This was more middle-of-the-night attempted sarcasm and even less topical. Sorry.

This is bs propaganda. Here’s the math:

• 100% of its weapons are in transit to Israel according Joe
• it takes decades to get people to elect a government more aligned with its people than with say Lockheed Martin, and thus
• Bolivia has to succeed in suppressing coups 100% of the time whereas
• the US CIA has to succeed just once

SORRY folks. In the middle of the night I tried to make some sarcasm about the US’s intolerance of non-right-wing governments in the Americas and how many times the CIA has been proven to have helped topple non-right-wing governments. Mea culpa.

Even in Britain, the slow lane on two-human-wide escalators is on the right. It confounds me.

Kitboga has entered the chat

Every time Americans are assigned a Republican president, the amount of Americans entitled to seek asylum elsewhere ticks up again.

I would prefer God existed simply so that there were a proper forum to air my grievances.

In those moments when it seems likely that Christian God very much exists, and is a vengeful and micromanaging hide-and-seek champion Who allows children to have cancer, and with Whom I’d be in a clearly abusive relationship, He, too, appears to be a sadistic con artist of the nepobaby, MLM-upline variety.

I’m so fucking sorry that I’m laughing so hard at 4:30am but dad was not playing with guntimidation and also wheelchair-bound and motionless. But I choose to believe you.

It gives say-no-to-me-or-any-other-male-in-my-fam-and-we’ll-dump-acid-on-you vibes

Don’t shake them too hard or they stretch. But hang everything absofuckinglutely immediately after they’re outta the washer or dryer. Like rn.

Heads up: I’m sure you know, but others might not, that Mother Teresa was a sadistic con artist.

Two words: Get. It. Ma. Ma.

Me and Homer be like

Nothing straight about this DLC

More Kitboga is the one true faith but I didn’t want to scare newcomers away.

At least a couple of Kitboga’s calls have originated in India, but all the characters he plays are as upstanding as they come. Except for this one time at Dave & Buster’s. Kit:

• never wishes for the plague
• always respects all varieties of English
• always respects that not everyone calling everyone else is US-based
• never uses slurs, and Kit’s
• never gonna give you up

I twist my ankle on a stone and I’m like “how many racing stripes on my coffin?” or at least “will my wheelchair have OnStar?”

Without clicking the link, I’m gonna assume it’s Pe Cimpoi

It is so so fast