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Joined 11 months ago
Cake day: July 29th, 2023
  • agent_flounder@lemmy.worldtoaskmenover30@lemm.ee•Men over 30, have you ever been in a legit confrontation with a stranger?English
    5·
    2 months ago

    In my 50s. I’ve never been in a fight. I’ve gotten into confrontations a few times.

    First was a guy on an off road trail. I was leading a group and one of em broke down and blocked the trail. Some cranky, leathery old fuck was being a dick about us being in the way. It had already been a stressful moment in a stressful day in a stressful week and I was fucking done and lost it. Couple of the guys had to keep me from getting in his face. I very, very rarely lose control. I wished I hadn’t and In retrospect I can totally see his point. But also he could have been less of a dick about it. And I should have been the mature guy and ignored his gnarled ass. I was 30 something.

    Some shitheads were in a car honking, yelling at, and harassing my wife who was trying to park while I was across the street on the sidewalk. I was really pissed and repeatedly yelled at them to gtfo (more or less) until they finally left. I suppose they could’ve had a gun and shot me and that would’ve been a suboptimal outcome… And my wife can take care of herself. So mild regret on that one.

    That’s the only times that jump to mind where I actually got really angry. There may have been times I am forgetting where someone was pissed at me or something and I de-escalated instead of escalating.

    I would be more careful now. Why? It’s too big of a risk. I spent a lot of time playing out various scenarios and thinking about confrontations when I decided to carry a concealed firearm. It’s a huge responsibility and cannot be taken lightly. I felt morally and ethically obligated to avoid conflict, let alone escalation, at all costs. (ETA: The obvious exception is a case of legitimate self defense where someone intends to harm me or mine)

    I no longer carry but it was extremely valuable to spend the time contemplating confrontations and potential outcomes. Even though I’ve never been a hothead (like my dad was) or thought I was some badass, I still realized I should be more careful.

    Two major confrontations and zero fights in all these years isn’t too bad but I could’ve handled both better.

    I hope to do better going forward.

  • agent_flounder@lemmy.worldtoBikini Bottom Twitter@lemmy.world•is this trueEnglish
    148·
    3 months ago

    If shame was the answer, nobody would still be obese. There is always an underlying cause, and it isn’t because of a character flaw. Often people use food as a maladaptive way of coping with emotional abuse or neglect, SA, or other things.

    It’s another example of people being shallow, self-righteous assholes with a narrow perspective and no willingness to understand or empathize with fellow humans.

    Sort of like how some people are anti-trans (usually anti MtF trans). Often these people are so pathetic they have to bash others to feel better about themselves. It’s the same mentality as blaming poor people for not having more money. Or dismissing drug addicts as subhuman garbage rather than fucked up people with a disease.

    This kind of shit makes them feel like it’s not even okay to be seen because of this shit.

    That’s exactly their intent. They don’t see fat people as equally human. They see them as people who aren’t as good as they are and they would just as soon fat people “go away”.

    People born on third base thinking they hit a triple. As if having well adjusted parents and not having a mental disorder and not experiencing CSA and so on was somehow all their own doing and not just the luck of the draw.