• Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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    6 months ago

    Yes and no. 100% fair that you can focus on the now. just think of late game. my grandfather did that to his son and my father did the same and left me nothing and I despise them. Meanwhile my mom and her mom gave me everything I needed to do better than either of them so I fulfilled their dreams of better life by giving thier struggles meaning. And I 1000% Believe my mom and her mom can take partial credit for my achievements. They put the work to get me the foundation for me to do what I did. If my father had custody of me I would selling in jail for selling drugs like my cousins.

    • zaphod@lemmy.ca
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      6 months ago

      And I 1000% Believe my mom and her mom can take partial credit for my achievements.

      And I’ll all but guarantee you they did those things simply because they love you, not because of some grandiose idea of a “legacy” or a desperate need to live beyond their death.

      Planning for the future in order to care for your family and friends is an expression of love, not ambition.

      • Spacehooks@reddthat.com
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        6 months ago

        Totally. I wouldn’t be shocked if it never crossed thier minds. Someone like myself can’t operate without at least 2 specific reasons to do anything. I just gave one that was broad. There other reasons are more like overall personal growth or REVENGE but end of day I really think someone needs to think hard on why they want kids before they have them. My SO mom looks at us with resentment, jealousy, and pettiness because we live the life she didn’t. Of course her mom also did the same to. Just curses all the way back. Can’t have that.