I went to the neurologist this morning and after all of his tests, he said he couldn’t find anything neurological that could be wrong with me. He thought it might be behavioral, but that wouldn’t explain the morning heaving. He sent all of my records back to the gastro doctor and we’ll see what they say when they get back to us. So I’m kind of feeling a bit deflated.
Meanwhile, my mother is driving me insane to the point that I had a minor breakdown in the car while she was yelling at me. I had to repeat over and over that she needed to be quiet and she kept saying things like, “you have so many rules!” Finally, I said, '“these are the code words. If you hear me say the exact sentence, ‘you are making me anxious’ she had to be quiet and count to 30 in her head.” She agreed. Angrily. She doesn’t find that reasonable.
She’s also quite hard of hearing despite having hearing aids, so I’m having my wife sit in during these evaluations via Facetime so I can tell my mother “the doctor didn’t say that” and have someone else agree. It still hasn’t worked 100% of the time, but it has worked.
Also, every single time there is a possible diagnosis or she reads something that she thinks sounds like my symptoms (and she’s always wrong about that), she decides that’s definitely what I have and she definitely knows what should be done about it.
This time it’s worse, because she was a psychotherapist and she actually knows a little about behavioral therapy. But I feel really bad for her clients, because they had a totally crazy lady for a therapist. And she kept some of them on for like a decade after she officially retired. They came to her house. So they actually liked whatever she did for them. All I can think is that she has a completely different personality as a therapist.
Oh, she also thinks that the dry heaving every morning is inconsequential and I should just accept that I’m going to have to live with it the rest of my life. What. The. Fuck?
I guess it’s been so long since I’ve spent more than a few hours with her that I forgot how truly nuts she is. And a bit on the narcissistic side.
Edit: Ugh. This fucking guy again.
I can’t think of the exact quote right now, but I’m reminded of one to the effect of us tending to see the darkest motives in those closest to us, while being more likely to give more distant strangers a greater benefit of the doubt.
I’ve often found it to be true, where there is a temptation to judge a given behavior in a harsher light in someone we know well, than the same behavior would be judged in someone else.
I suspect your moms actual clients actually do get the benefit of a greater degree of professionalism than you do.
Interesting way of looking at things. And sure, she is probably much more professional with them. But the depths of her craziness… honestly, between her and my equally insane father, I’m glad I came out relatively sane. My brother did not. He’s currently taking absolutely massive doses of shrooms because he thinks it’s psychologically vital (no doctor has told him this) while his “supervising” wife sleeps next to him and writing on Facebook about his hallucinations and how they are so important psychologically to him. Like a month ago he was touting the benefits of microdosing. Now he’s at the point where he’s so disassociated from the world when he takes them that he thinks he has conversations with strange beings while being in other worlds. At least he knows that isn’t real, but for how long?
And that’s just his latest craziness.
I stick to weed. It helps with my neuraglia pain and it’s sure helped on this trip when I can get back to my room and vaporize some after dealing with my mother.