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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/No-Draft450 on 2023-07-30 17:49:41.
My (38m) 15 year old son has been in therapy for the past few months after his best friend died. It was very hard for him and while I’ve always been there to help him, my wife and I felt that having a therapist would be best. He seems to be making a lot of progress, so I know it’s working.
Unfortunately, my bil is a men shouldn’t express emotions kind of guy. I’ve always thought that was bs, so I made sure my wife and I were on the same page about not letting that happen.
Last night there was a family gathering. My son had just had his therapy session, so we picked him up and drove there. While we there, my son was telling me about something they talked about, and my bil must have overheard, because he started on a tangent about boys not needing therapy and calling him a girl. I probably wouldn’t have reacted as much if my son hadn’t been there, by my son was visibly hurt by what he was saying.
I was pissed at him and told him to F off and that right now my son is more of a man than he is. I would have liked to say more, but I didn’t want to upset my son further. I admit that I might have gone a little too far, but I was defending my son. But I don’t think someone who shames someone else for being healthy while also being sexist is being a “man”.
My bil just glared at me and stormed out of the house. My wife told me that we were leaving so I got my son and we left. My son didn’t say much the rest of night, but my wife sure did. She was mad at me for doing that, and saying I disrespected her brother. I tried to explain I was just defending my son from him, but she wouldn’t take it and is ignoring me.
I’m still mad over this. My son was shamed for expressing his emotions and then everyone gets mad at me for defending him. But all of their reactions are making me second guess myself and wondering if I’m the asshole. Aita?
Firstly, you are a hero and did nothing wrong. Your BIL was being disrespectful to your son and you put him in his place. I don’t understand your wife’s perspective and frankly why she would not defend her son or you for your actions. Not only that, but your BIL was also disrespecting you and your wife for how you choose to support your child through this difficult time. Obviously your BIL lacks emotional intelligence and was unfortunately probably raised this way. Bravo to you. And your son is lucky to have you as a father.