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Yes. Unless there’s some kind of crazy domain-level hi-jinks involved with Lemmy (I am not versed in Lemmy), pointing directly to the IP will work if you bypass it by spoofing your DNS (Hosts file, for example).
I don’t know how Lemmy federation works, sorry :(
See #2
Sorry that I couldn’t answer more of your questions.
Sorry that I couldn’t answer more of your questions.