I think it would be a few months of Mortal Kombat on the off-roads to interstates and at all kinds of junctions as the assholes on the road fight each other to the death. After these guys (it’s always dudes) get out of the way, there will be a long period where statisticians say loudly over and over again that getting a licence before the age of 26 is the most dangerous thing a young man can do. They will run campaigns about it, with Republicans somehow convincing people that the safer thing to do would be to get the 16 year old boys in the country driving as quickly as possible. The higher up Republicans will be saying that the men who are getting into Mortal Kombat are the better drivers and that the ones that die are worse at driving and manning, so the roads are safer as a result of the Road Kombat Accord (RCA), especially for men, even more so for young men. The lower down Republicans will act like the RCA is a great honor to get to fight in and that Road Kombat is how our ancestors have done it for generations. Liberals will be sweating and wringing their hands while weakly citing the statisticians. The Republicans will Uno reverse this line of thinking into a no-brain slogan by the name of, “trust 'Ole Statty” so that liberals are afraid to tell people to look into the statistics for fear of getting told that they are in the pocket of 'Ole Statty. Republicans will tell liberals that they are in love with, “'Ole Holes”, glory holes that Ole Statty is said to frequent. Liberals will then get confused at this bizarre line of attack on their heterosexuality even though they don’t believe that homosexuality is negative or deviant and so all efforts to reverse the RCA will end. Most men would just sigh and not get their driving licenses until they turn 23, with the daring ones only waiting until 20. This would settle into a constant, relatively few, Road Kombats in the end; just a constant statistic of young white trash + minorites getting killed along with a bunch of 20-something’s. Most people end up assuming that the deaths were unavoidable and that there is no way to stop them. People state the stats as if they are the natural order. When people point out that the all-cause road deaths are lower in countries without Road Kombat, they will be treated as unpatriotic and ignored, becoming crackpots in the eyes of the many.
This was amazing to read, thanks.
It’s almost as if it’s a metaphor.
My car was built in the 90’s by swedes who welded I-beams together at 90 degrees. My opponent is my crumple zone. I will be fine.
In NYC, no change
Charlotte, NC no change either… probably because a bunch of peeps from NYC have moved here
I will be yielding. A lot. I ain’t risking my life any more than I already am by driving just to go to work.
No yield. Only mortal combat.
God, traffic was murder today
The fuck!? I’m already late for work, I don’t have time to Finish Him, or anyone! I got to get to the office!!
^ My response to my boyfriend with a case of the morning hornies.
Exactly what went through my mind lol
Midway Games stock is gonna shoot through the roof selling all the extra copies to make this system work. :P
Sure I’ll get my Sega Genesis up and working, with a little projector in the trunk of my prius, but I think this will make traffic slower.
Cars are going to have an advantage over pedestrians most of the time.
massive traffic delays as every right of way takes a minute or two or longer if it goes three rounds. I mean I assume the game is booted up and ready to go and the network links will work from the get go. if not oof.
Make sure it’s lethal to both parties… enjoy the fuckcars endorsed future.
Justice crash!
But seriously, though: if it were hand-to-hand combat, cyclists would have an advantage, on average. That’s both because of better physical fitness, and also because they can pick up their bicycle and throw it.
I bring my kid to school on a bike. I follow the right-of-way rules at the 4-way stops and at left turns. But every day there are 1-3 drivers who wave me ahead, and refuse to move until I go first. I don’t care what the rules are - I just want consistency!
Oh man, that’s also my pet peeve. And it’s a no-win scenario, too: either you go out-of-turn and contribute to normalizing the bad behavior, or you refuse and make them think cyclists are ungrateful. Either way, it makes things worse for cyclists in the long run.
Once, a month or two ago, someone gave me the right of way when I wanted to cross the road next to a blind corner, and I stood there and refused to cross, the driver became visibly agitated, but then another car came screaming around the corner the other way and it would’ve shot me into orbit had it hit me.
For pedestrians vs cars it already is
Less traffic.
We will now manufacture cars where the turn signal causes the horn to blow at the same time, but it sounds like a boat horn and fire comes out the exhaust.
Installing counter-airbag systems on my car, roughly like ERA (explosive reactive armor), to make sure that onlylarge cars trigger it and that they lose their advantage.