I’m tired of my parents being so religious. U can’t come out and I’m tired of it. They drag me to a church that actively hates us and get pissed I don’t like it. If I was put this would be worse probably. My mental health is going down the drain too. I literally just cut myself and I’m scared they will see the bandage. It just hurts that I can’t be bi at all and I’m probably going to have to go deeper in the closet if I don’t kill myself. I’m sorry I’m dumping all my problems idk where to go

  • PotentiallyAnApricot@beehaw.org
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    1 year ago

    What you’re experiencing right now is extremely painful, and you have absolutely every right to feel awful and overwhelmed by it. It’s a lot to go through. If you’re able to, try to take a second to recognize how much compassion you deserve - try to treat yourself the way that you would treat somebody else going through the same thing. I would strongly recommend reaching out to a medical doctor or (secular) psychologist or counselor to talk to them about how severe this is for you. Is there somebody on staff at your school, or a doctor in your area that you can reach out to? There may also be a number you can call in your area. These people are obligated to help you, even if your parents and church disagree. I know that I don’t have to tell you how bad it is, and you both need and deserve help from a responsible, nonreligious adult who knows you in person and can help you with the things that you’re going through. One more thing - you’re still bi, even if nobody around you acknowledges this and even if your family continues to be hateful - they can’t change the core of who you are. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Please reach out to somebody - cutting is no joke, suicidal thoughts are no joke, and any competent doctor or counselor who knows the truth about your situation will have an ethical obligation to help you. You exist, you’re alive, you’re bi, and that’s a beautiful thing. You deserve to be protected. Even if it takes a few tries to find an adult around you who is up to the task - do it anyway. Your life matters and you don’t deserve to have to cope with this alone.

    • solanaceous@beehaw.org
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      1 year ago

      @sleepybisexual, I’m so sorry that you have to go through this terrible situation.

      I agree with the others that counseling could be useful, if you can access it safely. Please take care of your mental and physical health as best you can. I don’t know much about your situation, but it sounds like the kind of thing you can go through and be stronger on the other side. And one of the best ways to help your younger siblings not become bigots is if they can look up to you as they grow up. Once you can safely come out of the closet, they can understand that LGBTQ+ people are people just like them.

      Is there somebody on staff at your school, or a doctor in your area that you can reach out to? There may also be a number you can call in your area. These people are obligated to help you, even if your parents and church disagree.

      It’s a good idea to look into this, but double-check the policies in your area: in particular whether these services are legally required (and socially expected) to maintain confidentiality.

      • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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        1 year ago

        I don’t trust school staff and won’t be back in school for 2-3 months forgot length of holidays. My mental health is unstable and I’m worried I damaged my arm.

        • edgewater@beehaw.org
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          1 year ago

          im sorry you’re going through this baby. i cut up my arm pretty bad too once when i was a little older than you for similar reasons :(

          the biggest risk to your arm from cutting is nerve or connective tissue damage. do you have any numbness or tingling? do you have full range of motion in your fingers and wrist? can you stretch your fingers all the way out wide and then make a fist? i know testing all this hurts, but if you’re capable of doing all that and you’re not experiencing freaky nerve pain in your hand, you’re probably going to be ok long term.

          keep the wound clean and dry the best you can. you can apply vitamin e or scar cream too it when it’s more healed to reduce scaring.

          • sleepybisexual@beehaw.orgOP
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            1 year ago

            My hand is OK i just can’t rotate my whole arm. Fingers work. I’m scared because my parents noticed my wounds