So I’ve been trying to figure out my sexuality and what sort of stuff I like, and I’ve stumbled upon a bit of a roadblock; I just don’t find vaginas or dicks that attractive. If I’m watching some porn or whatever and they zoom in to people’s junk, that’s a bit of a turn off. Honestly they just look like messy meat to me.

So I figured I’d ask; do you like dick/vagina pics? How much does it matter for how attractive you find someone?

… And you know what, since I’m asking things, shaven or unshaven?

  • norimee@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I honestly think you shouldn’t look at porn to figure out your sexuality. What you see there, is not how real life works and that you are not attracted to zoom-ins on pornstar genitals doesn’t say anything about how you feel about the real thing in the right situation.

    How much does it matter for how attractive you find someone?

    Its the other way around. If I find someone attractive in the first place determines how much I’m into their penis/vagina. Its way differnt, if you are into a person or if you are watching random people on screen.

    Edit to add: trimmed

    • cm0002@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      Or at least look up amateur porn, the commercial stuff really sucks ass (heh) and has that whole “Hollywood” feel to it.

      I prefer shaved, but don’t mind a bit of hair unless you want me to go down on you, then shaved is a requirement.

    • lnsfw3@lemmynsfw.com
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      4 months ago

      I honestly think you shouldn’t look at porn to figure out your sexuality

      This.

      I find sexuality hard to remove from a person and a situation. Not finding something attractive on a screen doesn’t mean you won’t find it attractive in person.

  • sartalon@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    To echo a couple common points:

    Don’t use porn as a metric. It’s like eating straight sugar instead of a healthy diet.

    It’s the whole package that matters. If I don’t care for the person, they could have a golden crotch and I wouldn’t care

    That being said, cleanliness, hygiene and at least trimmed.

    Then it’s about making each other feel good. Everything else will develope for you over time.

    Definitely don’t force it. If you are not comfortable, or it grosses you out, then stop.

    Try not to stress and have fun. Exploration should be part of the enjoyment, but it won’t be fun if you and your partner don’t feel comfortable or safe.

  • FoxyGrandpa@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    Firstly, unshaven everytime. Secondly, I (straight man) don’t find genitals in and of themselves attractive generally. When watching pornography I’m more attracted to the whole of a woman (no pun intended). Her face, her body, her vibe all play a role into it. And thats just porn, in person requires a novel of an explanation

    • The_Worst@feddit.nl
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      4 months ago

      For me a gay man it’s the same but for men of course. Penises aren’t attractive. I find men in underwear way more exciting.

      Trimmed or shaven. At least maintained.

      • GBU_28@lemm.ee
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        4 months ago

        Nobody wants their partner to look like one of those yards YouTubers mow for free

    • occhionaut@lemmy.world
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      3 months ago

      Agreed. If it looks like the lady is forcing a moan against pain or discomfort then im immediately turned off. It goes for men too, but i haven’t seen a specific porn example of that. Sex should not be uncomfortable!!

  • weeeeum@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    To me, they’re like the sun. Great when it’s out, sucks to stare at. Id say you’re fairly normal. I also like shaven.

  • toomanypancakes@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I absolutely find genitals attractive, but in context. I don’t think closeups that cut out the whole person are very sexy at all. The best sexy videos or pictures are of people enjoying each other or themselves in my opinion, not of junk on junk with nothing else.

    Edit: I asked hubs, and he’s of the opinion that just genitals are fine, he prefers a trimmed bush for men and shaved for women, but he’s totally into like just a dick and nothing else

  • Klnsfw 🏳️‍🌈@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    Bi guy. In real life, I find vulva and penis beautiful and fascinating, as every inch of my partners’ body, and I never saw ugly genitals.

    What attracts me is a pretty face, a clear consent, and our sensuality when we’re skin to skin. At this point, genitals don’t change anything. (For penis, lenght or girth can make some positions easier or harder, but it’s not a matter of attraction).

    About shaven or unshaven, I prefer trimmed. I love giving oral sex, and it’s less enjoyable when there’s too much hair. If my partners prefer themselves shaved, I don’t care. I understand there’s a social pressure, and all I want is them to feel comfortable with their body.

  • RBWellsV23@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    Not isolated images of genitals, no. I like them in the context of a whole person. I don’t find them a turnoff or anything, it’s just silly looking when they do the closeups.

  • Blue🩵@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I do like genitals. Although I would say I am straight, I enjoy looking at both vagina and penis. It really depends on the picture/video, if it’s pleasant to my eyes, like hygiene is the biggest factor, but context and quality/lighting as well.

    The different shapes, sizes, colors, it’s interesting and I must admit that I really enjoy the different colors my partners vagina has, as well how her labia minora pokes a bit outside. I find it really beautiful and I do like to say it’s like a rose.

    To answer you about shaved or not, I am more inclined to shaved, but I do enjoy not shaved as well.

  • sexdrakma@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I find the closer you zoom in the less sexually apealing genitals are, so yeah those extreme closeups in porn where all you can see is their junk turns me off. That said I find both penises and vaginas sexually attractive, so a more attractive set of genitals makes me more attracted to them, just like more attractive boobs or legs or eyes or asses would. Genitals look best when they are accompanied by the rest of the person, especially their face.

    I personally prefer shaven. I’ve never really been a fan of hair in general, probably due to me growing up in a house with 3 women with long hair and finding it balled up in the most disgusting places. I find a hairless set of genitals to feel so much cleaner and enjoyable to touch. I feel like I can connect with my partner so much better without any hair in the way.

  • pleasejustdie@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I love vaginas. I prefer shaven and showered and my mouth waters. Dicks… I don’t find any feelings to the ones that aren’t physically attached to me. But vagina… freshly cleaned spread before me is a meal I can’t turn down. Fortunately my wife and girlfriend both don’t mind that about me at all.

  • Pollux@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    Yes, I find genitals generally the most sexual part of a human body, no matter dick or vagina.

    Though different people have different preferences. As a general rule of thumb among the people I know, men are much more likely to find genitals and breasts in particular attractive, and women more commonly enjoy the visualization or fantasies of what is actually done with less regard to what is shown, and more commonly find more explicit images to be quite meh or a turn off. But there are indeed exceptions to both.

    Also, shaven.

  • NarcissticNurse@lemmy.world
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    4 months ago

    I wouldn’t like isolated versions, clips or images for genitalia for sure . I rather love it as a whole package that comes along with it . Sometimes of course there are exceptions when the thing at hand is too good not to be looked at, but most of the times I fancy a plot behind the stimuli. For sure , a good package does indeed look good on guys, but that won’t be the criteria of judging how attractive that person is.

    Also shaven - It just looks better IMO. Multiplies the sexual quotient manifold if it’s a good looking popsicle , melting in the summer …

  • southsamurai@sh.itjust.works
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    4 months ago

    Well, context does matter, but yeah.

    I used to be a nurse’s assistant, so I’ve been up close and personal with something over a thousand individual sets of genitals, by my best estimate, in a professional, non sexual context. Then there’s the personal sexual context, and the personal non sexual context.

    Overall, I’ve never seen an ugly pussy or dick that wasn’t diseased in some way. No bullshit, there just isn’t such a thing as an ugly genital configuration that isn’t the result of something going wrong. There are asymmetric, and startlingly atypical genitals. And there’s genitals that are at the extremes of possibilities. Those can fail to be sexually attractive, but then again, all dicks are in that category for me; I can appreciate the beauty of the penis, but I’m hetero.

    Truth though? They are all “messy meat” when you zoom in, be it in camera or in real life. When genitals are visually disconnected from a fellow human being, there’s a difference in how they’re perceived.

    When it comes to pussy, which is what I’m sexually attracted to in the context of this post (outside of this, the rest of the human matters a lot more), I tend to enjoy a wide range of the possibilities. Anything from petite innies to the most voluminous labia. Hairy, trimmed, shaved, they’re all fine by me, with the caveat that shaving has to be done regularly or I’m not going down because stubble sucks lol.

    I don’t particularly enjoy pics of genitals without the rest of the person. It’s the entirety of a person that interests me sexually, the genitals are just one small aspect that is only slightly more interesting than a finger or toe, by themselves. But, when a pic like that is shared with me by the person as a form of sexual interaction, I enjoy them a lot! But not unsolicited, and I would still prefer to see more of the area than onlythe genitals. A little belly, some thighs, whatever.

    But my job did play a big role in that. Back when I was 16, before I started taking care of patients, genitals by themselves were inherently sexual to me. You just didn’t normally see them, and that makes them matter more, particularly when you’re a horny teenager wanting you experience more sexual activity. My first female patient that wasn’t very old was a bit confusing because there was still a part of me telling the rest of me that I should be having sexual thoughts because vagina, but I wasn’t experiencing those thoughts because they were a patient.

    Context matters so much when it comes to what is and isn’t arousing. You may be more like me, where just the images of genitals aren’t “real”, because they’re not an actual person, they’re an image of a person. Kinda like the famous pipe painting.

    But! I do enjoy a good artistic photograph of genitals. There’s as much beauty there as in the curve of an arm or a smile, or whatever. It just isn’t a sexual enjoyment, and it needs to be a well made image. That’s true of penises too, I enjoy male nudes almost as much as female nudes in that regard. Humans can be very beautiful when framed right; as beautiful as flowers, or sunsets or whatever. I do still prefer whole body shots, but genitals are beautiful on their own when done well.

    When it comes to porn (pun intended), I’m extremely picky. Once I got old enough to realize how shitty porn is in comparison to real human sexuality, it started losing its ability to arouse. I can’t say it never works, but the last decade or two, porn has lost all pretense of humanity. It’s all so empty and mechanical now that it’s often a turn off entirely.

  • WhimsicalSofa@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    I like shaved or at least trimmed, and have seen cocks and pussies I would even call beautiful. Some turn me on, and some don’t. One of those matters of taste, I’m sure.

    You’re going to find the only constant in sexuality is variation. I’m sure there are people who are fully sexual who just aren’t into junk per se, and asexuals who want nothing to do with it but still have aesthetic feelings about them, just not sexual ones.

    Unfortunately, porn does tend to have a narrower focus because mostly they are trying to make money.

  • SmuttyLad@lemmynsfw.com
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    4 months ago

    Sort of yeah. I find myself attracted to one set, and have an aversion to the other.

    However, the attraction sort of hinges on the idea that they are attached to a person. Even with a close-up, the mind imagines that there is a person, and I prefer a complete view to a close-up. I’m not attracted by sex-toys of the appropriate shape.