Why some men bully and hate on women who post here their own images? Specifically women who have a link in their bio.

As somebody who is not enjoying watching nor listening to ads, I understand that part, but we still get to see those beautiful/sexy photos/videos for free.

And even those women who post without any aggressive promotion, variety of content (not recycling the same photo in different sub-communities), not providing any links directly in their posts nor asking for anything and just enjoying being social, get attacked too. Why?

What has happened to live and let live? Why being so rude and disrespectful? I truly don’t get it.

I mean I have a theory, but I would hate to offend anyone, it’s just not in me to be disrespectful, so I keep it to myself for now.

That said, I also would like to acknowledge that vast majority of Lemmy NSWF members are awesome and many thanks to you all for building this fun community.

  • Siratonin@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    So I’m not one of those people but I think I get where they’re coming from.

    The issue is one of quantity vs quality. Many of the most prolific OnlyFans posters make the same generic content and they post that content in every community they posibly can to hit the widest audience. It was really bad on reddit where they would post the same picture of their boobs in 15 different subreddits. So far that hasn’t been as much of an issue on Lemmy but I think people are woried that if it isn’t stopped early then it will start to be an issue and that is why they are targeting all OF posters. I get why OnlyFans posters do that though. OnlyFans is very competitive and very few people actually make any decent money off of it so if you want to make money on there then you need to market yourself agressively and you need to make your content generic enough to apeal to the widest audience.

    On the other hand, if somebody is just posting their amateur content without any monetary goal then they don’t need to be concerned with marketability. Actual amateurs are free to be much more varied and to only post their content in communities where it actually applies. Sure, good verified amateur content is significantly more rare than professional OF content, but without all the professional OF spam it would be easier to find on here. A lot of people also don’t seem to understand the difference between someone who posts on OF as their job and someone who posts on OF because they were posting amateur content anyways so why not post on OF too and maybe make some extra money.

    There’s also the fact that, like you said, people just don’t like being advertized to. That’s also probably the root of a lot of the hate.

    • WhoRoger@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      More like 50…Once I was looking at a profile that I swear had over 50 PAGES of the same photo posted everywhere. I was scrolling just out of morbid curiosity of course… How do people even find so many subs to post to?

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Thank you for your valuable input and taking time to answer. Much appreciated.

      I absolutely can see this aspect, as I have mentioned in my original post. Personally I also rather enjoy the community with social interactions that are more authentic and fun.

      But this still leaves my question open, because women who do not engage in the practices you described and on contrary engage in building this community without any advertisment, but happen to have a link in their bio, are targeted too.

      Now to clarify - I don’t think anyone should be targeted at all, subs can set the rules, we must follow them, and mods can warn and ban those who break them. And in all other cases - don’t like something then don’t look at it.

      But it seems having a link in bio is enough to bring the hate on and this really is something I would love the haters to clarify- why?

      • Siratonin@lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        But this still leaves my question open, because women who do not engage in the practices you described and on contrary engage in building this community without any advertisment, but happen to have a link in their bio, are targeted too.

        The thing is that those people aren’t selectively targeting the “bad” OnlyFans users. They aren’t going through and reviewing peoples profiles in detail. They just see onlyfans and assume the worst.

        • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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          1 year ago

          But you have to make an effort to go to somebody’s profile and see the link.

          If you just looking at the post and there is no link, nor mention and fun conversation is flowing in the comments, then why?

          I want to get to the bottom of this 😆😆😆

    • Pornphilosoph@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Proof for your theory is the German gonewild community on Reddit. I commented about this here. They have a strict no ads policy. Even a link to onlyfans on your profile will result in a ban. When they enforced their policy some people left, but all in all the community is a divers place with a good amount of posts from all genders. My guess is: if you live somewhere, where the lack of money will not fuck you up that hard, it is easier to do things just for fun.

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    I’ve only been on here for a few days and gotten some weird hate comments. I know my look is not for most people and that is fine, but I’ve gotten more negative comments here than I ever did on Reddit in just a few days. It’s just weird that people rather spend more time looking at my pic they don’t like to post a negative comment. 🤷‍♀️

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      1 year ago

      I’m truly sorry your experience with Lemmy is so negative. You look badass and beautiful, and I hope you don’t let this negativity get into you.

    • Jobesmith92@lemmynsfw.com
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      Yeah I’ve seen those comments and downvoted them. I’m sorry you have to deal with that crap. I for one haven’t been back to reddit since the protests began so I’m glad you are here! 😀

      • Cynthias Cheeks @lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        Thank you for your kind words. I’m secure and mature enough as an individual to not let these comments bother me, but I just wonder why someone even posts negative comments vs just scrolling, engaging in content they don’t like and its just weird.

      • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        I was never on Reddit really. I joined donkey years ago and never used it. Then forgot my account name and password. I created a new one recently but I kinda don’t get good vibes on Reddit at all.

    • iknowitwheniseeit@lemmynsfw.com
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      Yeah very weird. You can easily block people or groups who are following guidelines but who you don’t want to see posts! 😞

      • Cynthias Cheeks @lemmynsfw.com
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        Granted one of the hate comments was pretty funny so I hope they try to be creative like that in the future lol. But yeah it’s just weird behavior, makes me think they’re mad at me for not being their typical fap material but I still gave them a hard on.

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      It’s honestly just self-defeating and stupid, even from an absolutely selfish perspective by men who do nothing but consume porn. Thinking about it: if you want amazing ladies to share amazing nudes, you need to create a positive environment. No matter what a woman looks like, she may have misgivings about sharing. So you have to make the environment a wall-to-wall positive, thankful, and respecting one. It’s basic math.

      If it becomes a place where people get judged by their looks and then “win” or “lose” then guess what? No one’s going to fucking post.

      I wish these kids would pull their heads out of their ass and get this. I learned it by observing the polyamorous communities I have encountered. There is, as a rule, zero shaming, and every woman is a queen. But then I think many of these twerps have never even had sex at all let alone figured out the dynamics of a sexually free community. Fucking kids.

      • Cynthias Cheeks @lemmynsfw.com
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        1 year ago

        100%. I replied to someone else with an apology. If I went to a painting forum and saw someone’s original painting I didn’t like but was otherwise on subject and was well executed I’m not gonna downvote or make a nasty comment. I don’t like certain art styles and that is fine but that doesn’t make it any less of a painting that should be shown off.

  • Jobesmith92@lemmynsfw.com
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    I think it is a lack of maturity and misplaced sense of entitlement. I don’t know if it’s possible to block a user to keep them from being able to see or comment on your posts. That certainly would be a great feature. 😀

    I’m sorry you ladies have to put up with so many idiots. I downvote them when I see them.

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      Thank you for being you.

      Yes there is a block feature. I am not sure how it exactly works, but I would presume the blocked member is prevented from viewing and interacting.

      But the question remains- why? I hope those brave keyboard warriors have enough courage to share their reasoning here.

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      I’d also recommend the reverse: if you think you’re seeing a lot of posts from someone you don’t want to see: BLOCK THAT POSTER. We have that power.

      There are people I am not interested in that post constantly who are not even advertising an OF. I just block them. Nothing personal. Just me customizing my feed to my tastes. If you’ve ever spent time on a NSFW forum then you already know that people have different tastes.

      I have no patience for little babies who think the entire site should change policies so that they don’t have to customize their feed to their tastes. Grow up, babies! Don’t skip thumb day: reach over and hit that block button!

  • Pornphilosoph@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    What really bothers me is, that people cannot just ignore posts they don’t like. If I choose to visit “All” or “local”, I have to be aware that not all posts will be to my liking. Why do people downvote an aesthetic male image in a community named “the male form”? Just ignore it, it will be over with a little swipe of your thumb.

    There is one poster who provides a lot of content. They have a body who does not fit into todays mainstream beauty standards. Their photos are well made and you can see the effort they put into them. Does it fit my taste? No. Do I have to downvote it? Nope, because it fits into the general idea of this platform.

    This is not your personal porn stache people.

    Rant over 🫳🎤

    • Ehoalid@lemmynsfw.com
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      There’s a whole bunch of communities that just isn’t my taste. Know what I do? Just block those communities. Bam, done, and I never have to think of it again. Or individual users, etc.

      Don’t understand why that’s so difficult instead of spreading hate for no reason, or downvoting something that fits the /c/.

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      It takes multiple clicks and keystrokes to leave a dickhead reply, which you may get an angry response to later, but just one swipe of the scroll wheel to make the content disappear and move on with your life. People need to put away childish things and learn that the world isn’t going to walk right up and cater to them. They need to put their time where it will make them happy.

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    I feel like the downvote arrow on lemmynsfw posts should be removed. For me it is a huge turnoff to see people downvoting other peoples original content to hell. It is a boner killer, and makes me feel disgusted at people’s entitlement and shit filled brains. I’m not into shit filled brains, take your hate and make a community around that kink so I can block it.

    • BrainisfineIthink@lemmy.one
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      Honestly I’d be cool with that and an option by the poster to disable comments if they want. If someone wants to show their body off, let them. If it’s not a body I want to see I can scroll past it and say nothing like a normal, polite human being. If the OP wants to tolerate the comments, fine, but I don’t want anyone posting themselves and getting shamed/shit on for it.

    • FuzzyWeevil@lemmynsfw.com
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      I know it’s something that at least instances can control, because I don’t think Beehaw has a down vote button. Maybe the admins of this instance should consider that for lemmynsfw, too

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      I 100% agree. Or at least I’d like the ability, as a mod, to see what little shits are doing this and be able to shadowban them from viewing us in their feed. Seriously, all these little festering peckerwoods downvoting ladies OC need to be piled into a wood chipper.

  • pornonmain@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    I’m sorry that you’re having such unpleasant experiences with some users on here. Please report people that leave hateful comments, I think most moderators will gladly delete them. Some people are sadly not used to treating other human beings with dignity on the internet… xD

    • Limeey@lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      This - please report people who are using the platform to expouse their hate, unnecessary misogyny (unless that’s what you’re into…) or are just generally trolls.

      Also, if moderators are the ones encouraging, taking part, or otherwise ignoring it, please let an administrator know so we can try to resolve it.

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      Thank you, but actually quite opposite. My experience is mostly nothing but positive and fun (apart from rare instances). I have been enjoying social interactions on Lemmy and often reading comments with smile on my face.

      But I’m not blind and this kind of behaviour online is hard not to notice.

      I don’t have to agree, but I can understand why people would have less appreciation for purely advertising content (they still get content though!).

      So they want real amateurs, posting for a thrill, but good forbid any of them happen to also have a link in ther bio.

      I cannot make sense out of it.

      Lemmy can easily ban all creators, just for having a link in bio, regardless whether they post non spammy content, don’t advertise and engage socially, or not. But I wonder how many posts would be here to see? My bet is on only reposts of “borrowed” from somewhere else content.

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      11 months ago

      You hit the nerve and you are so damn right in this statement!!!

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        So posting a pic and having a link in your bio is spam? A link that you would have to click through to see? A link you would have to specificly hunt for? I haven’t clicked on every single pic posted, but I hardly see anyone posting any links in the comments here.

        • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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          Let’s get the honest truth out there: complaining about spam is the single, solitary way these micropenis douche bags have of feeling like they have some kind of moral superiority over a beautiful woman they know they will never get to touch. Porn masturbation is their entire sex life and that leaves much to be desired, so they throw in some spam reports to feel powerful instead of just pathetic. It’s that simple.

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            That is not the situation OP was talking about nor what I have experienced with rude comments on here. I’ve gotten rude comments with maybe reposting a single pic a total of 3 times before I really leaned this site. I haven’t seen every pic but I haven’t seen much spamming here at all.

      • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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        Believing that women should do exactly what you like and only what you like, and that hateful comments are a good way to respond anytime you’re not happy about what they do… yeah, actually that’s misogyny. No really I checked, and you’re wrong, trust me. Just Google it.

  • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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    I just added a note to my sub’s sidebar about not downvoting OC. It’s just so stupid and rude. OnlyFans promotion could potentially be done in an annoying way, but it’s been sooooo far from that - and I’ll fucking moderate it if it gets bad, thank you very much!

    Free nudes are free nudes for fuck’s sake! I swear I’ve seen OF girls that actually show more on Reddit than their actual OF. So I’d say we’re getting a really good deal and should STFU and embrace the ladies who are posting nudes for us. Is that so difficult?

    Folks need to put down their 2002 definition of advertising spam and get with 2023 sex work.

  • KrombopulosMikl @lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    People are complete assholes on the internet. They say things they would never consider saying in person.

    I hope you can ignore and block them and keep posting because we need to keep seeing your sexy ass!

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      1 year ago

      Thanks for replying 😘

      I agree with your sentiments, but I still would love to hear reasoning from those who are so offended by everyone with a link in their bio.

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      These sorry sacks of shit would never even get within earshot of these women to say this crap in person. It’s like: tell me you’re a virgin without telling me you’re a virgin. You can always tell a man who gets a lot of sex because he treats women in a way that makes them warm to him. Shrill little internet Dick bags can barely pinch their own micro penis in mammas basement, AND IT SHOWS

  • FoxyHex@lemmynsfw.com
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    1 year ago

    Negging - begging for losers with bad personalities.

    Jealousy - not everyone posing as a man is one, and not every girl is nice.

    Illness - some people are just off their meds.

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      Thank you for taking time to chim in! This is the first response to my question so much sppreciated. Just shame none of those who actually hate on, had balls big enough to explain their carry on.

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    1 year ago

    Above and beyond reporting any shitty comments that we see, is there any other actions that you would like to see from socially well adjusted men here?

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      Thank you. All appreciation and much love to well adjusted members of this community.

      I have a feeling I may have expressed myself in too much detail, as this post was to be a question, not a cry for help out of frustration.

      I would love to see those brave keyboard warriors, being courageous enough to answer, because I honestly would love to know why.

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    It’s unfortunate that shitty people exist.

    What is the best way the rest of us can encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing?

    It’s awesome that you’re providing a service to us for free out of the goodness of your heart. Let us know if there’s anything we can do besides upvotes to restore the motivation that gets sucked away by people’s disrespectful comments.

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      Thank you.

      I sense a hint of sarcasm here, but I also may be wrong.

      In any case the encouragement is welcomed, but not needed. Many thanks for offering 🥰

      I’m an emotionally mature alas wild woman, who feels comfortable in my own skin and with everything I do. Don’t need sweet talking to keep me going, nor bad mouthing to stop me. I may be soft and friendly and full of positive energy, but I also have a tough skin and I’m not that fragile.

      The purpose of this post was the get an answer to my question, not to vent nor look for support. Most people here are awesome and I appreciate all respones. I just don’t understand those few bad seeds. This is not my personal experience but what I have noticed in general ever since I joined this community.

      Thank you for taking time to reply and I hope it was in a good faith too. Wishing you a great day.

    • Bendavisunlv6@lemmynsfw.com
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      11 months ago

      It’s unfortunate that downvotes cannot be replied to so we can ask people what they are thinking.

      Looking at downvotes overall, I don’t think they should be anonymous AND shown. If you want to show the voting total, that’s different.

      But giving that one little asshole the power to change the “⬇️ 0” into “⬇️ 1” is too much power.

      They should be able to change “⬆️600” into “⬆️599” if they want, and that’s a far more reasonable amount of power for one little asshole to have.

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    Maybe I’m late to the party.

    But first of all, it really sucks women go throught this kind of abuse here. Independently from if we like onlyfans let’s call them advertisement or bait posts or not, I think we need to be better than this as a community. The chill vibe is what most sets us apart from other places such as Reddit, and we really have to try to keep it that way. 

    Secondly, I think some people become incredibly inconsiderate as soon as their anonymous on the Internet, completely forgetting that they’re talking to real life people on the other side. My imagination suggests that this is just some angry incel dude, hating on you out of frustration, and I really do hope you never take it personally. I don’t mean to be kissing your ass either, I just really like mutual respect on the Internet.

     Is my username would suggest, I do need to browse these communities every now and again to see who the good and the bad girls are ;) I feel that most of the time it’s very clear if someone is an only fans poster or lets call them amateur posters. The quality let’s say of the bodies and the professional grade pictures usually gives it away. That being said, I regularly see the distinction between the women who are posting this only to post the link in the comments, and never reply to any of the (thirsty) dudes in the comment section and the content creators who take this community seriously and invest a lot of their time to engage with viewers. I would definitely consider you in the second category.

    On a sidenote, I am a mobile user on iOS, and I cannot see any bio of yours through Memmy. Or maybe I’m just a noob. I don’t use only fans, so it doesn’t matter to me, but I thought you should know people might not see the link.

    Long story short, keep up the amazing work. I think you really improve the community with both your content and your comments. Don’t listen to the haters, I hope the trend will die down. 

    • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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      11 months ago

      Thank you for this.

      I actually had nothing but great experience on Lemmy (bar one comment) previous to this post, but I came across many negative comments.

      Now this has changed and I’m showered with hate, because I dared to post what I did.

      It is insanity.

      Not that it should make any difference but I am a total amateur - I work full time in professional environment closely connected to my education. I also take additional work, because life is expensive as we all know. This leaves me with very little time for myself and my hobbies, I have always enjoyed photography so I started experimenting on myself with the camera, not like I could had asked any friends to be my nude models nor had time to go and study photography.

      I literally have thousands of photos in my folders that have never been seen by anyone - too revealing for social media.

      It took me years to gave in to requests to open OF and start sharing. I never had it on my agenda. But it feels in a way like the most safe place to share and the best place to be appreciated too.

      Yeah, I have a link in my bio. But I don’t go and shout about it. I don’t mention it in my comments and I don’t even make titles suggestive enough. I don’t feel like anything I post here screams “promo”.

      I belive if somebody likes something they go and investigate and then they do what their heart desires. My link is as an option if anyone feels curious and would like to see more or support what I do. But that’s all.

      At this stage I decided to use a block feature. I’m playing a Santa too and giving a bag of coal to all those nasty boys (they certainly don’t sound like men)

      Thanks for being you and being awesome!

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        11 months ago

        I think using your own Santa Powers is very good in this situation. Also, just want to say how messed up it is you getting hate over asking about why all the hate. Most of all on Lemmy, a place where we constantly pat ourselves on the back for not being as toxic as other places.

        I enjoyed reading the bit of background, but please never feel like tou have to justify anything or any personal choices to anyone on here. It’s your life, your choice and our luck that you choose to post the content that you do.

        I am surprised that someone even downvoted this comment of yours, like what about it ground someones gears!?

        I hope you keep giving bags of coal to these thirsty weirdly incel-vibe dudes giving you hate on here. And I hope the rest of us (the vast majority) get to enjoy the contents of the folder you mentioned for years to come - I know I’m looking forward to it.

        Keep up the great work!!

        • Kaye @lemmynsfw.com
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          11 months ago

          Don’t worry Santa, I’m a big girl and don’t feel like I have to justify any of my actions or anything about myself, but sometimes it feels good to share.

          I have gained so much hate in here that it is now disturbing. It seems the more genuine and nice you are to the people, the more they hate you.

          My original theory as why this is happening grows in strength. Now I’m pretty sure my suspicions were right from the start.