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Wrenched from the platonic forms through seething quantum foam as the Demiurge’s machinations reach fruition, our custom-made mounting clamps won’t fail you like your precious god.
Part of my job is to write that kind of copy. If you take it seriously, you’ll drive yourself nuts.
You should start every one with “originally formed inside of an actual star” or something similar.
Wrenched from the platonic forms through seething quantum foam as the Demiurge’s machinations reach fruition, our custom-made mounting clamps won’t fail you like your precious god.