There have been similar posts in the past and you all might be tired of commenting on them, but I’m really curious what it’s like for others. So here I am posting my own question thread.

Given that our core identities are defined by lots of different quirks, gender, romance, sexuality, platonic affinity being some of them. I am curious to know what aspects all of you measure yourself by and how you place yourselves within the bigger picture. Especially hoping for some wholesome takes that may help someone else feel more comfortable with themselves, should they adopt the way of thinking.

I’ll share my own take: Gender identity

  • Masculine-feminine spectrum: Definitely more comfortable with feminine side.
  • Fluidity: experiencing some, not sure if that is because of uncertainty or inherent.
  • Intensity flux: also experiencing some, some days are just a little extra “I want to be a girl”-days.
  • Overall: unsure about where that leaves me, status quo (I’m just me) is fine for now.

Attraction to others

  • Sexuality: Definitely bisexual, trans-inclusive (who would have guessed).
  • Romantic…ality?: Vastly different from sexuality, mostly romantically interested in women (cis or trans), i’d say biromantic with a 90% bias. Any men I’ve had romantic interest in shared some feminine traits, so ‘femromantic’? Is that a thing?

Social traits

  • Platonic affinity: Find myself feeling most comfortable around women. As long as I can remember I’ve always been one of the girls and some interactions with men actually confirm that I’m absolutely nothing like the average dude.
  • General sensitivity: Without a doubt HSP, even though others usually can’t tell (which gets me in trouble).
  • Social tolerance: Intuitively introverted, though have become more outgoing lately, so not strictly introverted.

Obviously these are just some examples of things we can measure ourselves by, curious to see which ones you will add or remove and why. And it goes without saying: Only share what you’re comfortable sharing.

TL;DR: I’m a huge nerd and have reduced myself to an n-dimensional vector, and I’m asking you to do the same and maybe add some dimensions you know of.

  • Semivir [he/him, she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
    4·
    7 months ago

    Wow, thanks so much for sharing this! Truly beautiful and inspiring to read.

    I think I get the whole fuckable friends part, even though it doesn’t quite work that way for me. You already share a certain bond of friendship, trust or intimacy to a certain degree. So I see how that could open up the door for things to progress beyond platonic.

    Alignment of kinks is probably more important for a healthy sex life than most people realise, and at least from my experience compromise never works out in the long term.

    Your story on confidence, self-esteem and becoming more outgoing definitely hits home, as I imagine it will for many here. I used to be pretty outgoing as a kid, but high school and a combination of factors changed that dramatically. Reaching emotional maturity earlier than my peers, HSP and witnessing the sheer evil early teens are capable of all around me turned me into the quiet kid that somehow managed to stand out. Kinda hard to be outgoing when you don’t quite trust or like anyone around you. New environments and fresh starts definitely help out though, and studying was definitely the tipping point. I’ve been clawing my way back to my childhood self-esteem ever since. And I’m proud to say I’m getting there.

    All in all happy to hear you managed a way to stop denying yourself the attention you deserve, as this post proves you’re worth listening to. Definitely going to take some inspiration from your story.

    Oh and now I need this magic PH lipstick, where can I get some?

    • Rose Thorne(She/Her)@lemm.eeEnglish
      2·
      7 months ago

      Lipstick is Essence Glimmer Glow, looks like you can find it on Amazon! It looks clear and glittery, but it comes out in a very nice rosé that doesn’t leave you looking like you just partied with the pixies. From the description, the way it interacts with your natural PH levels affects the tone and intensity of the color, and I can say I’ve seen it be fairly different between my lips and my partners.

      And thank you! Not only for your kind words, but for being the kind of person who makes this kind of platform available and welcoming. It’s a lovely encouragement to engage with this community and gives a beautiful outlet and inlet for ideas and conversation.

      • Semivir [he/him, she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOPEnglish
        4·
        7 months ago

        Oh god, what have you done?! My impulse control is definitely being tested here! (╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻)

        The stuff probably contains phenolphtalein pH indicator, which turns pink in alkaline conditions. Our saliva varies between a pH of 6.3 to about 7.9 with 7 being considered neutral. Not sure if 7.9 is alkaline enough for the color change to dramatic enough, so it might contain something else that works at a different range. Principle is the same though: Magic colour changing chemical meets pH that isn’t quite neutral and turns itself pink.

        And thank you! Not only for your kind words, but for being the kind of person who makes this kind of platform available and welcoming. It’s a lovely encouragement to engage with this community and gives a beautiful outlet and inlet for ideas and conversation.

        Aww thanks for your kind words! I actually joined here not too long after lurking for a while because it seemed like a safe place to try and express a side of myself that I don’t really share with the public yet. Figured this would be a good place to experiment interacting with people that have a chance of understanding what I’m finding out about myself. The goal was always a mix of shitposting, celebrating differences, discussing interesting things, providing others with a laugh and leaving wholesome messages. Your feedback counts as a big compliment and tells me I’m probably doing well at the wholesome part.