i could feel my braincells commit suicide as i read this
People really use this awful font as their default??
Kevin is the man my cunt cheryl has been having an affair with
Should be using Papyrus
Wingdings is where it’s at
My brain just melted out of my ears
Dear internet: please be a true story.
Damn, poor Kevin. It doesn’t sound like he deserves this 🙁
Fuck Aunt Sheryl… But I wish Kevin could have been spared.
There’s so much to unpack here.
A and B and C and D are going to a destination E.
A and B are having an affair. C is being cheated on. D is planning on enjoying the act of torturing A B and C
I knew those unions and sets would come in handy one day.
I might be able to come up on with a less direct way of telling the story than the original post, but it would take effort.
Hmmm according to set theory it sounds like uncle is gonna fuck Kevin but idk I never learned set theory
That reads to me as if it could have blown up at anytime anyway. I think her doing only accelerated the inevitable.
Did they take a bag of popcorn to thanksgiving? Because, I’m getting ‘they took a bag of popcorn to their mom’s thanksgiving diner’ vibes here.
Any follow up?
Found this on Bing
Kevin came later than Aunt Sheryl and her husband. I am sitting, waiting patiently. As Kevin walks into the room, Aunt Sheryl looks horrified and goes completely silent. Her husband asks if everything is okay and greets Kevin courteously. Throughout dinner, my aunt acts super suspicious and Kevin acts uneasy too. Her husband, bless his stupid soul, doesn’t see any of this and starts actually bonding (the stupid man!). Soon after we finish dinner, we all decide to drink some beers and watch the game. Aunt Sheryl complains of a headache and retreats to the guest bedroom. Kevin also wants to leave but Aunt Sheryl’s husband goads him into staying for a bit longer. Kevin reluctantly agrees.
The husband trusts his wife and doesn’t make a big deal about some awkwardness and tries to be inviting to a new-comer. Instead of always accusing his wife of having an affair everytime they meet a new man. It’s a lose-lose for this fellow
I thought u/shittymorph came with us for a second.
I’m probably just yelling into the void but…
Hey @shittymorph did you make it?
There’s a potential imposter here somewhere. I thought the real shittymorph retired shortly before hell broke loose on the site-that-must-not-be-named
Who’s shittymorph?
Back on the site-that-must-not-be-named, u/shittymorph would wander subreddits randomly and drop a comment that seemed relevant, but devolved into a diatribe about a 1998(?) pro wrestling match in which The Undertaker threw Mankind off the top of Hell in a cell, 16 feet into an announcers table.
Damn, I feel like I just channeled him to write that comment.
Unfortunately none. Absconded with this several years back and don’t even remember where.
To be a fly on that wall.
Halfway through the web of social connections, I was expecting this to end like that old doctor riddle or some sort of logic puzzle where you have to identify people from a set of linked clues.
This really does read like a high school word problem.