Like my ex therapist. “Just make lists and read them to remember” That would involve me remembering to 1- make the list 2- read it at the right time 3- act upon it, yeah go lock with that.
- Remember to write down the tasks.
- Find a way to stay organised with a large number of tasks.
- Remember you have tasks and there is a list around here somewhere…
- I’ll check my list after I’m done with this thing…
- … you look up and the sun is set, you forgot to eat lunch.
- oh hey there’s that list on the kitchen counter!
OK, but I’m ADHD as fuck and keeping a journal/lists of what I want to do and need to get done and what I did do that day has really helped me out a lot in the last few years.
I use something like the Bullet journal method she talks about here. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jkZEEQG6IVE
Modified for how much of a slacker I am at filling it out. Because this way its an organization structure but its a voluntary one that I made and can change myself which I find to be a big thing. Because I need some kind of structure and organization but if its forced externally or I can’t change it to suit my current needs than I will just rebel against it and hate it.
And no I don’t manage to fill it out every day but I don’t pre fill the days so there isn this big chunk of blank spaces waiting to accuse me of not using the journal as often as I should. If I skip a week I just start on the next page anyways. The big thing was its a system to organize the lists otherwise you just end up with a doom pile of lists you made. Some of which might be really important.
The reason bullet journaling can work so well for ADHD/ExecDys types who take to it, is because bullet journaling is a structure of interlocking habits with an element of ritual to it, while “remember to look at the important list crumpled in my back pocket” is not.
Totally, I just wanted to make sure people aren’t discounting all journalling because of a therapist suggesting it in a shitty way.
Absolutely. Bullet journal changes my life during the periods I’m able to keep up the habit.
The real issue here is the attitude of “just do X”. Like making lists works for some people with ADHD but not all of them. You have to try it to find out. As a fucking therapist you’d think they would know that
Sounds like advice. I don’t think my therapist gave me any advice unless I begged her and we did the whole CBT bit first.
This is also super fun when it’s your boss who has at most a superficial understanding of how ADHD presents itself in stereotypical cases
Tip for people without urgency for a new job.
In your application call (not the letter!), make it clear that you are neurodivergent. Make it clear that you can be brilliant if you can do things the way you need to. Make it clear that it can backfire badly if they expect that you can be handled “by the book”. Make sure your future team knows this. And try to get to know the whole team first in a 1-2h call.
In many cases they will reject you on this basis. But there are a few, if rare, companies that will accept that. And these were the best jobs I had. Because the people know what to expect, and especially know what to NOT expect.
(May won’t work for all Jobs. I’m in IT, so neurodivergent people aren’t that uncommon. Maybe other fields look drastically different)
I would never recommend people out themselves to a potential employer. I talk about my ADHD and amphetamines lots at work now but that’s because I’m in a position where I am a relatively rare commodity and my job is already seen as the weirdos on site. I do it knowing it won’t make my job easier but because I see so many apprentices struggling with the same shit without realizing they might just be different from other people. And the amphetamine talk shocks people which I find funny but anyways. Maybe some day it’ll be OK to do but for now I have to assume that outting yourself as autistic or ADHD is just a good way to get discriminated against in most fields.
If someone doesn’t follow my advice, I don’t actually care. It was cool that you called asking for it to begin with. It’s very arrogant of someone to get upset that another person didn’t take their advice. You can’t possibly know all of the underlying factors. If someone calls asking for my insight, it’s kind of an honor that they trust me that much.
I’m also the oldest of five so I field a few calls from my youngest two siblings (who are fresh new adults, 9 and 12 years younger than me) asking what to do. It’s pretty cool watching the little stinkers figure shit out.
Where it can be frustrating is when you get pressed for advice or an opinion after first saying you don’t have an opinion or trying not to commit to something knowing the person won’t like your opinion.
If I get pressed to give an answer then I’m going to sit and figure out what seems to me to be the best way to do things. That takes consideration and time, it takes energy, which I’m happy to give if I’m taken seriously. When people take what I say, and then say “ok I’m still going to do it this other way” with no rationale, then essentially they just insisted that I waste my time. Why do that? Just don’t ask me then, or take me at face value when I say I don’t know or don’t have an opinion.
I’m an introvert, interactions take a lot of energy. It’s so draining to be forced to consider something then be ignored. I don’t think I’m being arrogant, I just don’t want someone to intentionally waste my time and treat me like my opinion doesn’t matter after making me go out of my way to figure out their issue and come up with a solution.
Even if I’m angry or frustrated at you, it doesn’t mean I care about you any less.
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I don’t have adhd, but I’m not neurotypical. My partner does have adhd, and frankly this meme speaks volumes for me and my frustration… but after almost 7yrs, I still love him beyond all reasoning.
Your meme makes complete sense. The generalizations work great. I just wanted to give a little reassurances that you (really anyone with adhd) are still cared for. :-)
Thank you.
Tf is a neurotypical? Keep hearing it around and around, but I’m too lazy to Google it.
Neurotypical is a shorthand for people who are near the average of mental configurations. Its counter is neurodivergent, which covers people with differences in mental wiring, but not so far as to be a mental illness. The term “normal”, while technically accurate, implies we are “abnormal”, a term often used in a highly derogatory way, even if it is accurate.
Most of the measures of mental state are a bell curve, centered on “normal”. If you’re centered, you’re neurotypical in that aspect. If you move away, you’re into the realm of neurodivergent. If you slide too far, the combined result can become a full blown mental illness.
How the scales line up helps define various disorders and quirks of personality. ADHD is one, Autism another, but they are not alone. Since we (vaguely, as a group) got fed up with being over medicalised, the term neurodivergent became popular. Neurotypical is its obvious counterpart.
“normal” sounds bad in the context of mental illness so there’s “neurotypical” for people without obvious mental problems
There’s also general term “neurodivergent” for people with those disorders.
Googling it would’ve been less typing…
But that deprives people of the fun of explaining things to online strangers.
It’s a bit gratifying to be able to speak on a matter where one has expertise, and I hope those that doesn’t want to “educate” just ignores questions.
I rather someone asks here than do “own research” and stumble upon autism speaks and other “information” sites