I don’t think you’re an elitist.

(and here I will be an elitist…maybe?) I do think you’ve missed a red flag though. Your friend, assuming this conversational quote is mostly or fully accurate, just explained to you their material reality and essentially just said, through some extrapolation, “material conditions elsewhere are bad. But my material conditions are still good.” I assume you’re a Marxist of some flavoring being here and all. So, there you have it. You as a class conscious person recognize that while materially things are still decent on average in the US (again, on average), things are incredibly “not good” elsewhere in the world and you know which country is largely responsible for that being the case: Your own.

Your friend, being willfully ignorant, a coping strategy but also a luxury afforded by all material needs being met, something nearly all Americans suffer from, just some of us are conscious of it and most of us are not, lacks the historical context perhaps beyond a vague “we did something bad a long time ago” and, furthermore, realizes the reality that we are effectively powerless at the moment. In their mind, maybe even consciously, I can’t say, they probably think of you as the weirdo or crazy to some degree because you sit around thinking about and fretting about things that we all objectively know we cannot change. I’m not trying to be, you know, doomer, or fatalistic, or whatever, but it’s simple reality that what the friend said “Biden’s going to do what he’s gonna do” is absolutely true. None of us here can stop that no matter what individual actions we take, even the most extreme ones. It would take a whole country’s army to stop Biden from doing what he wants to do if he wants it that bad. We all know we can’t change shit, some of us feel bad, and really at the end of things those of us who are conscious of things are the ones suffering for it. But only until you accept the reality of things and you understand why your friend can toss off such bad news so easily.

I think, broadly, you agree with me here. Maybe not on the powerlessness towards current US politics, but, as much as it sucks, I’d… invite you to explore that line of thought more. It’s honestly the only way out of this type of despair and alienation you’re experiencing. You either have to change everyone else or you have to learn to live with them somehow and, luckily, you already know the answer, although you don’t like the answer. Neither do I or anyone else who wishes to see more justice and equity in the world, but I don’t know what else to say than you just gotta accept that the same way worsening material conditions causes people to veer towards socialism or fascism, depending on their temperament and education and, of course, perceived class position, improving material conditions causes this sort of de-radicalization or “de-politicization” where people consciously and subconsciously refuse to see the plight of others and, more importantly, absolutely will refuse to do anything that might actually improve others’ material conditions because, in their mind, it might worsen their own. The classic story that plays out daily.

I understand you’re ranting, but I do find myself wanting to ask “what else would you have them do?” Acknowledge things are shitty elsewhere including in the US? Not play Minecraft? I’m not trying to be an asshole here, I’m being completely serious, what else should they do? And how does that compare with what you do? Again, gotta keep saying, I am absolutely not trying to be an asshole here or say “make your bed” or whatever the hell. I’m just saying, you’re laying down a lot of, I dunno, accusations? Maybe? I can’t think of a better word for it.

My interpretation of that rant, and rants aren’t always logical nor representative of true feelings, so, this is just me kinda riffing on what it written there, is basically, worst-faith nutshell “Why are you enjoying yourselves while others suffer?” (And I’m talking about acceptable enjoyment, not like racism, homophobia, etc. just to be crystal clear. I mean playing games, seeing a movie, etc.)

I think that’s a perfectly valid question, if that’s your intention. And I’d say they already answered it for you previously in your own rant. “Biden’s going to do what he’s gonna do”. I guess the real question is, and I provided my non-unique analysis already, why can’t you enjoy things? And, again, I already answered why I think you can’t. You don’t seem to have to accepted that your friend is ultimately correct as shitty and terrible as that feels.

“Biden’s going to do what he’s gonna do.” I keep quoting that because it’s actually a perfect encapsulation of a lack of class consciousness and lack of education on material reality, but also, it’s the answer to socialists, Marxists, etc. in similar veins living under a capitalist system. It’s an acceptance that shit sucks, it’s going to continue sucking for the current moment and likely many more moments ie beyond our lifetimes. The only way to settle this is through a balanced mixture of acceptance of reality (neither of us, or even 10000 of us together, can change the current system) and figuring out what you can do, within your own power, to push the needle the tiniest amount that you individually can. You have to accept first and foremost, this probably won’t benefit you. You probably won’t live to see a glorious collapse of the US and takeover of socialism. But, maybe? The point is you have to kind of… not care. Yeah, that’s really easy, I know (sarcasm). I say this stuff and I’m not even fully at this magical stage in life, although I do believe I’ve come to the better end of it after years of suffering much like you are with right-wing parents, friends, coworkers, etc. that seemingly do not care. I bashed my head on that metaphorical wall for literally years. All I can say is, you kinda just gotta… let go. That sucks, I know, everyone knows. But what else is there? You either compromise in your own mind and decide on a plan of realistic praxis that you can personally engage in, or, what else? Suffer everyday until your brain fuses together into a solid rock and you go numb or, worse, find yourself becoming a cynical ex-Marxist right winger? That sounds shitty. I took the compromise route.

It’s not easy, it fucking sucks actually, but what else can you do in the moment? If there is something that you, or I, or anyone, can do right now to stop Biden from putting kids in cages at the border I legitimately want to know so I can offer aid to it. But we both know, I hope, that we quite literally cannot stop it from happening. That fucking suuuuuucks. I am not saying, and would never advocate for, letting that rage inside die. You have to keep that indignant righteous anger that, in my opinion, is a completely natural human trait to have and feel. That’s why they spend so much time and energy trying to break people’s minds. But, hey, you made it here as a person living in the imperial core of the greatest, most hyper-capitalist country on earth. You have every incentive to turn your mind off to the plight of others, but you don’t. That should and does say something about your character. (Little self-jerk there; we deserve it).

This shit sucks because it just goes in a circle of misery. You realize you can’t change things, but you realize you are unfairly benefiting, you can’t stop that because the entire capitalist society you live in was created to benefit you via the exploitation of others, you either physically remove yourself (a commune or move to a socialist country) or you go back to the beginning of the circle where you consider “how do I change this?” “Fuck, I can’t” “Fuck, I’m benefiting still.” “Fuck, this was all created for me to be benefited.” “Fuck, I can’t just leave nor do I want to.” “Fuck, how do I change this?” On and on and on for years. Maybe it never ends, I dunno. All I can say is, I dunno, take up jogging/running if you are physically able. Some sort of cardio. Same for weightlifting if you can. Focus on your physical and mental health. Whatever extra you have on the other end put into something you find worthwhile. That might mean direct action of some sort which, to be clear, is absolutely not the solution, but it is a temporary relief to those who are helped, and that is something. I bet if you join in some community (or nearby) activities like helping with homeless people or whatever else you’ll meet some like minded people. Maybe they won’t know or care as much about Marxism, but ok, maybe you introduce it to them. I dunno. You just gotta pick out the things you can do that will help now and also push the needle slightly.

Apologies if this comes off as patronizing, etc. I felt like the entire thing was required for me to work out all my thoughts here. I could always keep typing, but, you know. Also, never apologize for long posts. I certainly don’t. (Do not look at my post history and average post lengths)